On vacation without the kids

First I would like to say thank you to B&T and A. Without them we wouldn't have been able to go on vacation without the kids. We went down to the Dominican Republic for 6 days and 5 nights. I bought a package online one day at work - sometimes I tend to buy things when I have had a bad day. Sometimes my shopping is very close to an addition.

It snowed the day before we left. We woke up at 3 AM to catch the first flight out. We had one connection and the whole thing was going very well. Then we arrived in DR. We had transportation taking us to the hotel so I looked for my name on a sheet of paper after we made it through customs. No name. We ask at info if they can help us, no dice. So I just say let's just get a taxi and eat the 30 or 40 dollars. We go to the cab stand tell them the name - no idea. So I get the sheet of paper out - never heard of it. Now the husband is thinking that this whole thing is a scam and we will be walking back into the terminal and we will be home before dinner. They figure out where the hotel is - yah! It will be $200 and it is 2 - 2.5 hours away! What! So we call the travel agent. She has no idea how this could have happened. She calls the hotel and the taxi stand calls the hotel. Finally the hotel says just take a cab and they will pay. We are flying down the highway and I thinking we will be there in an hour. Then we hit the mountains. Washed out roads, waiting for other cars to pass so that we can use the road, and very steep drop offs. Both of us are thinking this place better be great after all of this!

We arrive and it is. We have a 3-bedroom suite with a roof deck. We totally don't need all of that room but I am lovely it! So dinner, bottle of wine, and we are back at the room and I think I was in bed before 9!

We basically had the place to ourselves. I think maybe 20 other people were staying at the resort. When we were at the beach there was no up at 8 just to get a chair. You could sleep in, casually stroll to the beach and easily get a chair that wasn't by anyone else. And did I mention that no one ever used the pool so that was always an option. You could look up and down the beach and maybe see 10 people and not a single structure. It was odd. We kept looking for people, wondering what the deal was, why is no one here, etc. The hotel was under a little bit of construction so that was part of it and I don't think we were exactly in the hot part of DR. We talked with one couple that was there with their 3 kids. And that was pretty much our only interaction for the whole time.

I read 2.5 books, I slept until 10 every day, except when we planned something, and honestly I think I was in bed before 9 almost every night. I know a lot of people would say what did you do on your vacation? What was the point? And before kids I would have said the same thing. We planned something every day, if we didn't go out every night I felt like I was really missing out on things, etc.

It was so nice to wake up and then just lay in bed and drift in and out of sleep, not worry about feeding other people, only have to deal with putting sunblock on one person, read a book at the beach for hours, and not have to talk to or listen to someone talk for long periods of time.

When we left A said we need to see if my parents can do this again next year because this was great. I love my kids but I have to say that was the best couple of days I have had in quite awhile.

Deep thoughts by M

Me: M what are you doing?
M: I am watching Scooby Doo, it calms me.

Babysitter: M that Caillou song is in my head and I can't get it out.
M: Walks over to inspect her head, I don't see it.

Me: M I need to cut your nails.
M: The Incredibles don't need to cut their nails why? They don't have nails?

Letting go.....

M has been in daycare since he was 10 weeks old. And technically it has been longer because he had a transition period. So one would think that he was used to being dropped off and he would be an old pro. Not true. In the infant room he would scream. In the toddler room the only way we could leave would be to hand him to a teacher and run out. And now in Preschool it is a little better but he would hold onto your legs and scream Mommy stay, Mommy I need you, etc. So needless to say by the time you did that, commuted into work, and started to work I was already exhausted. This has slowly started to change and I really saw it this week when I dropped him off. Most of his friends were already there, which I think helps a lot. I dropped T off and we gave her hugs and kisses which she had no interest in and she went to play with her friends (she has been like that since the beginning). I am thinking that now I will drop M off, hopefully we will play for about 5 minutes, and then one of his friends will distract him. Well I went in with him and he never looked at me. I asked for a hug and kiss, then a hug or kiss, no response. I then said may I have a hug or kiss or all you finished with me for the morning? His response - I am all done with you! So I got to work in record time.

M has started to get more and more independent, I will do that, I don't need your help, etc. But there has always been this issue when we drop him off. Both of us have been saying why can't he be like the other kids and just run in and play because when you pick him up he doesn't want to leave so clearly he likes it there. Be careful what you wish for....

I was thinking about all of this on my walk from the train to work. How I am slowly becoming a smaller and smaller piece of his life, how he really does need me less and less, etc. And for one second I was sad. Then I thought, wait a second you have been wishing for this for literally years and it is now here and now you are sad. Snap out of it! So instead of dwelling on what is being lost I thought about what we were gaining. As parents we want to strong independent free thinking children that no longer need us. That is just sometimes a hard pill to swallow. But then I think about M at 30 - do I really want him still in my house, most likely somewhere like the basement so it seems like he has his own apartment but yet somehow his laundry shows up in the bins with mine, he asks where his cinnamon cereal is, and that he needs help wiping? I think not. When I entered work I had a big smile on my face and pride in my heart for my smart independent young man.

Finally a warmer day....

We have been buried by many many feet of snow. It has been dark, cold, windy, and my lower back still hasn't recovered from the shoveling. But we are starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. So we took advantage of a few hours of warmer weather before the rains started. It was sunny but it was still so nice to be outside. Funny how you take the kids and dog out for a few hours and suddenly there aren't any many timeouts and crazy dogs dropping balls on your feet to throw across the room. I can't wait for the warmer weather!