Bumps and Bruises

M and I were having dinner together last night and he was telling me about his day including all of the bumps he had received at school - he had a big scratch on his face from one of the other kids, he has a big bump under his eye which happened while playing with a bucket, a scratch on his hand, etc. We reviewed all of his battle scars and then he asked me if I had any boo boos. And I said yes I do, someone pushed me on the train when the door was opening and my arm got pinched in the door so I had a big bruise. He was basically obsessed with seeing it and I had to pretty much take my shirt off because it is on my deltoid. M inspected the whole boo boo and then gave me a big hug and asked me if I was okay. It was so nice.

He then proceeded to sit back down in his seat to eat dinner, he leaned a little to his right and farted. All I could do was laugh.

Pause or Paws

I took French for many years in middle school and high school and honestly I pretty much sucked at a foreign language. When we got to the concept of past perfect my small brain just didn't get it and I was just hoping to get through the semester without failing. As much as I hated French and the classes in my mind I would still like to speak a foreign language though at this point in my life I think I would basically need to move somewhere or have a job where I used it every day, otherwise you just lose it.

Last night M and I were talking about parts of the body and counting how many thing we have - like feet, eyes, etc. As he often does he will ask if everyone in our family has something. Last night we were talking about feet and he said in his normal fashion - T have feet?, Daddy have feet?, You have feet Mommy?, Deucey have feet?. I said yes except that Deucey's feet were call paws. Murdoch's response to that was 'Yes, Daddy pause the TV for me'. :) I don't envy him having to learn a new language.

During French they always said that French has 1000 rules and 10 exception. English has 10 rules and 1000 exceptions. Poor M! This weekend he also learned esophagus - he knows food goes through it after it goes in his mouth but I don't know that he really gets it. It sounds funny coming out of a little person so I ask him to say it all of the time.

Seriously?!

Yes this should be an Earth Day post but I read this article and it really pissed me off. It was in my free newspaper I read every morning on the train and I saw the title on the front page, 'Get Your Partner to Pitch In', and I thought oh that might be useful, until I read the article. Here are a few highlights:

Do not boss him
This leads to an unhealthy dynamic and makes you more of the pain-in-the-butt mother than the loving girlfriend. Being the mother will have a profoundly negative impact, especially in the bedroom as resentment builds. Be polite and courteous, and treat him as you want to be treated.

I think the way I would like to be treated is not as a free house cleaner that has to run around picking everything up and vacuuming in order to keep the roaches away!

Empower him
Ask him what chores he might want to do. By letting him choose, he can tap into what he is comfortable doing, providing a sense of control and independence that might be necessary during this new phase in the relationship.

I don't really want to clean the toilet either but someone has to!

Define clean
Are your expectations realistic? You and he may have different opinions as to what clean means. Reach an agreement as to what are new, mutually acceptable standards for cleanliness. Focus on the end goal, making it about “our house.”

I would simply like to walk on the floor without my feet sticking to it - is that so wrong?!

Compliment him
Acknowledge what your boyfriend does well. This will provide a much needed positive reinforcement and encourage more of the same behavior.

Wow! You really work well with that glass cleaner!

Get in the mind of a man
Tell him: “I find it sexy when a man can clean.” Indirectly he’ll get that housework can lead to sex.

How about - There will be a Gucci bag on the bed if you do that load of laundry!

This article was written by a man and it was in response to a woman writing in about her boyfriend not cleaning and that it was ruining their relationship. I think this is a common problem for people but I found these suggestions a little crazy! No one compliments me about how well I fold the laundry or that the kids aren't covered in grass, dirt, and god knows what other types of stains - that is just what I do. I wipe down the table not because I like to do it, I do it because there would be a layer of crap where my toddler eats everyday that would eventually not come off. Sometimes you just have to get it done without talking about it, defining roles, etc. At the end of the day I think everyone likes a clean house and a little relaxation time so just shut up, wash the dishes already and then you can sit down with a beer to watch the game!

A Month of Earth Days - Food

I find that organic food is the big one. I try to buy organic but it is very expensive and not as easy to find. My family has decided that we will go out and pay a little more for groceries and less money in other areas so we shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joes a lot. It is more expensive but I have also found that I am pickier about what I buy so I tend to buy less - I buy closer to exactly what I need and I end up throwing out a lot less food. I have also found organic products at unexpected places like Target and Walmart. Target has a brand called Archer Farms that they carry and it is all organic. A half gallon of organic milk in my area is $3.69 at Whole Foods - and that is the cheapest for their 365 brand. At Target it is $3.19 every day and it often goes on sale for $2.99. I don't have a Walmart near me but my Mom had a brand new Walmart built near her and she said they carry a lot of things like organic cereal and other packaged items for very good prices.

I know it is hard to find the money to buy organic so I thought I would look up where you get the 'most for your buck' when buying organic. Meaning where you really should buy organic and where you really don't have to. This is what I found on www.thedailygreen.com:

Top 12 Foods to Eat Organic:

Peaches
Apples
Sweet Bell Peppers
Celery
Nectarines
Strawberries
Cherries
Kale
Leafy Greens
Grapes
Carrots
Pears
Potatoes
Tomatoes

The on the flip side, 10 things you don't have to buy organic, just try to buy local:

Onion
Avocado
Sweet Corn
Pineapple
Mango
Asparagus
Sweet Peas
Kiwi
Cabbage
Eggplant
Papaya
Watermelon
Broccoli
Sweet Potato

Out of the buy organic list I find peppers to be very expensive especially when I consider how many I buy and how much our whole family loves them. So this summer in addition to tomatoes I am going to also grow peppers. Most of the other ones on the list are a little too hard for me to grow. And when I think about the cost of local and organic lettuce that is one of the cheaper ones on the list so I am going to continue to buy that at the store.

Another way I think is an easy way to save money at the grocery store - don't go in with a list unless it is just the things that you really need. I find if I decide what I want before I go into the store I spend more. I go in and look for what is in season - it is fresh and usually on sale - and then I just look at what meat is in sale - that is what we end up having that week. I also buy meat that is on sale and freeze it for later when I feel like having that dinner.

A month of Earth Days - Cleaning House!

As I sit here drinking my organic tea, that costs me about 3 cents per cup, out of my reusable cup I think about the million other people that are doing the same thing and that makes me feel like I am making a big difference instead of just thinking of it as one cup at a time.

I started thinking about issues that people have in life (issues I have in life) and how people can help themselves, help the environment, and save some money all at the same time.

At work and at parties some people make fun of me - oh you make your own baby food, I don't have organic fruit so I don't know if there will be anything for you to drink. I honestly don't find myself to be very green and all that. I find that there are a lot of aspects to a green lifestyle that people just can't relate to so it is like talking to a wall. One thing I feel that everyone has in common is too much stuff and the desire to get rid of it and declutter their lives.

Mail/Catalogues - the first area that I feel where everyone has an issue. You order a $20 pillow from Pottery Barn and suddenly you not only get that catalogue but a million other catalogues. I find this incredibly obnoxious. Several years ago I saw an article about a company called GreenDimes. They offered a service where you sign up and pay and one-time fee and they will stop the catalogues that you request, so you don't have to stop all catalogues, and they will also plant trees with the fee that you pay. That company is now called Tonic, http://precycle.tonic.com/. When I signed up it was $15 and now I believe it is $30 but I would still sign up. I can't tell you how well this has worked! We barely get any catalogues now and I love it! All of that stuff that just comes in the mail and you throw away in the recycling bin you can stop. I know that recycling is good but it is even better if it is never produced. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Mail/Credit card offers and such - Every time I get one of these in the mail - from the airline that you have a frequent flier account with or the hotel where you stayed, I call them and have them remove me from all of their marketing mailings and let me tell you it worked.

I find with mail - if there is anything that you constantly just throw in the recycling bin there is a way to get rid of it.

Tennis Shoes/Sneakers - we take a lot of things to Good Will or get rid of them on craiglists.com or freecycle.com but old tennis shoes were one thing that I had no idea what to do with and I felt guilty about just throwing them in the trash but I knew that no one wanted to wear my old shoes. I found an outlet - http://www.nikereuseashoe.com/. You can either go to one of their drop off centers or mail your old shoes in and they use the materials to build playgrounds for kids. Check the site out - it is pretty cool. They have a whole video of how the process works. I have a drop off center about 3 blocks from work so I let people know at work I am going to drop some shoes off that week and I have had several people bring their shoes and we drop them off and then go and grab a coffee now that it is getting warmer out.

Newspaper - I read most things online now - I can't seem to keep up with newspapers and they end up laying all over my house and the husband gets mad. So the newspapers have been canceled and we are saving a little money. I do read a free newspaper every morning on the way to work and there is a little recycling center right when I get off the train so I usually throw it in there. But for the past couple of months I have been collecting them to help in my garden. I had heard this trick from a few people. When you are working in your garden if you lay down newspaper, about three sheets deep, wet it and then put down mulch it is a chemical free and cheap way to help with weeds. I have done this for the past two years and it works well - it doesn't stop all weeds but it stops a lot of them and I feel better about that compared to the other alternatives. I do use some organic food for the vegetables and such but that can be expensive. Plus it gave M a chance to play with the hose and be an very helpful assistant one Saturday.

I know there are a million other things that you can do to get rid of clutter so please share them. I loved that The Gap was taking in old jeans to recycle them into insulation and then they gave you a discount on a new pair - I think that is great! Does anyone know of a service, kind of like Nike, that takes jeans for insulation from the public?

A Month of Earth Days - Making one small change

Every couple of weeks or even months I try to take a look at my day and see how I could reduce my consumption or do something else that is 'green'. Everyone's day is different so everyone will have a different change. Over a year or so ago I decide to no longer go down to the cafeteria to get my tea every day. I brought a mug in from home, bought a box of tea for about $3, and I bring in my own milk because I like skim with tea and they only have cream at work. So not only am I saving the $1.50 for tea each day - now I have about 100 tea packets for about $3 but I am also saving that cup each day. I am getting rid of that extra trash as well as the energy that is takes to produce that cup and top.

I realize that tea is much different from coffee. People love their coffee and it isn't quite as easy to make your own coffee at work like it is to make your own tea. But you can still get rid of the cup and save money! Most places including Starbucks will give you a discount on your coffee if you bring in your own mug.

I know one cup once a day doesn't seem like much so I try to think about 100 people or 1000 people deciding to do the same thing that I did. Then when I think about 100 cups everyday and the 36500 cups a year that really adds up!

Now I just need to find my next small change that can help make a big difference.

A Month of Earth Days - Entry 1

Earth Day is this month so I thought some entries of easy things to do or change in order to become a little more green was appropriate.

I think the issue with becoming Green and the whole movement is that people think it is expensive and that it takes a lot of effort. For some things this is very true - an organic apple is just going to be more expensive compared to a conventional apple. But I think there are a lot of other areas that can be cheaper and some only require a little more effort.

Just think about recycling today. Most people I know recycle, maybe not as much as they could/should, but they still recycle. If you think about recycling and trash it is much easier to just throw everything into your trash can instead of having separate cans for trash and recycling. I think one reason is works so well is that it has become so mainstream. If you are over at someone's house for a beer it isn't odd to ask where you should put recycling.

I think the recycling piece of the reduce, reuse, and recycling is very accepted. Those other two pieces are ones that are a little harder for some. A lot of people don't like consignment stores - my husband was part of that, until we had kids. Most of my kids clothes come from consignments shops - this helps us save money because it is so much less expensive, and we are helping to reduce by not buying new clothes which would increase the demand to produce more and we are obviously reusing because we are reusing other people's clothes. In this case if you can get over the whole other people's clothes thing - by the way I find plenty of clothes at these stores that still have the original tags on them - I think this could go a long way and it is saving you money.

So as you go throw your day looks for ways that you can help reduce your intake of things and reuse them in original and new ways. I wash all of my plastic bags and use them several times before I throw them out. Again - this is saving me money because I don't buy as many and it just takes the effort of washing the bag.

Let me know what you are doing to help reduce, reuse, and recycle this month.

7 Year Itch

So 7 years ago today I got engaged. We were down in Turks & Caicos for about 4 or 5 days before we went to the Bahamas for a free work trip. We got up early that day, around 6:30 or 7 which is now sleeping in, and we went diving, hung around the pool, watched the sunset in a hammock, Andy proposed, and we went out to dinner. If he reads this he can logon and do a post for the whole proposal - my response didn't involved tears and not being able to speak so he was a little disappointed.

Now here I am 7 years later. Up at 4:30 to get ready before the kids get up, take the dog out and do her PT, get the kids up, people are screaming and crying because it is too early to get up, get them out of the house, at work now, pick M up early then T. Hoping maybe I can get some caffeine on the way home. I made a casserole but I will probably end up eating cereal, get kids in the bath and then to bed. Do Deucey's PT and then prime a door. We are putting our first floor unit on the market and there are some last minute things that need to happen. So I am hoping to make it to bed before 11. Andy is traveling in case you are wondering why his name isn't listed anywhere.

Then this weekend the weather is supposed to be nice so I am hoping for the best. I think some yard work needs to happen but I would also like some time with the kids relaxing. Deucey seems to be getting better so maybe we can all go on a walk and hang out at the playground.

I would like to say that it has been an awesome 7 years and all that stuff. There have definitely been some good times but I can also see why they call it the 7 year itch - and we haven't even reached that for our anniversary - I am still just talking about being engaged that long. I don't think the issue is with the other person, at least it isn't for me, it is the fact that you have so many other things going on that your marriage and your relationship tend to take a backseat to everything else.

I am not exactly itchy but I think I could defintely use a little Benadryl with my wine.