In one week...

I will be back to work. Or I should say I will be back at my office job because being at home with kids isn't exactly a vacation. Thayer is 13 weeks tomorrow so she will be about 14 weeks and just over 3 months. I went back to work when Murdoch was 10 weeks old and I couldn't wait to go back. That leave was much harder for me and I don't know exactly why. He was a good baby, he slept pretty well, I had an easy recovery, etc. I could wait to get back to work and talk to adults again. Now here I am 13 weeks away from work with one more to go and I don't have that same drive. I am not really sure why. One part of me really wants to go back and then there is the other part that doesn't. I have really enjoyed my leave this time though I am not sure why it is so different. Is Thayer easier, did I know what to expect so that made it easier, is it because I know the amount of crazy that is about to happen, is it that I am a little scared to go back to work after being out for some long, is it because I know this is my last maternity leave, is it because I thought I would get so much more done when I was on leave? I really don't know the answer - maybe it is a little bit of all of those and more. Either way next Thursday morning and day is going to be much different than this one. I am going to try and enjoy the last week at home instead of thinking about next week and how crazy things are going to be which would ruin my last week. If I had a week vacation normally I would be thrilled. But right now a week feels like just a blink of an eye and I will be back to the exhaustion and crazy that goes along with work. Here is to the longest week of my life!