A big change

So I got a call yesterday that I have been dying to receive but somehow when it actually occured yesterday it made me instantly sick to my stomach. This may be long so please feel free to skip it - I think this is more for me.

We started looking for daycare last May or June which was apparently way too late - you should basically sign up right after your pregnancy test says positive around here. We went with Bright Horizons which is a chain in the area that is very good but it is also very expensive. I would love to use something less expensive but I didn't want to send Mur just anywhere and I don't know anyone else that uses daycare that lives close so I went with this because I felt like he would be safe there and I wouldn't be thinking what could be going wrong when I was at work. We went to look at one place, the one we wanted both because I knew people that had been there, it is very convenient to home and it was the cheapest, and they basically told us that there most likely wouldn't be an opening in the October/November timeframe. So we signed up there and were put on a waiting list at two other centers which were very close to Andy's work but of course more expensive. About 5 weeks into my maternity leave I started to interview nannies because it looked like daycare just wasn't going to happen. I found one nanny that I loved but she wasn't ready to commit right then and I didn't like the other people as much. Luckily within a day or so of this Bright Horizons called saying that had an opening - at the most expensive one - of course that was my luck. So we took it right away because it was nice, the people were nice, they were reliable, and I needed to take Mur somewhere because going back to work was quickly approaching.

So fast forward a few months - we have gotten used to the cost and we absolutely love it there. Love the center, love the director, and really love Mur's teacher. We get a call from another Bright Horizons - there is an opening. It was just a little bit cheaper so we decided to stay put. And I thought to myself why couldn't it have been the other place! Well yesterday it was the other place. They called and they have an opening starting in March. So for months I have been waiting for this phone call and now that it has come I don't know what to do. In the end we decided to make the change because it is a lot cheaper and because I know other people who go there and they love it. I am not really sure why this is so stressful for me - I just love the teacher at Kendall and I know Mur loves her and I am just worried he won't be as happy or receive the same level of care. But at the same time is he really going to know exactly what is happening - people keep telling me that he will be fine, he is only 6 months, and I know that is probably true but it is still causing a knot in my stomach. I am sure after a week or so there I will look back and think why did I stress so much about that?!!!

Thank you for listening. Sometimes if I can just write something down the problem works it way out because I see how stupid I am being. I still have a knot but I know I am making the right decision. I will let you know how it goes.

I think we are over the hump

I think we are finally fever free! Mur had his last dose of Motrin on Saturday while we were getting our taxes done and he hasn't felt warm since. I think the fever is finally gone so he is going back to day care today. He has another cold though which is making him cranky and I think I woke up with the same cold this morning. With Andy leaving very early tomorrow morning and not getting home until Friday it could be a long week with single mom duty and another cold.

Hopefully this one isn't too bad and doesn't last too long. I think I will get out the Neety Pot to clean my nose out. I am struggling with cold medication since becoming pregnany and having Mur. Previous to Murdoch I would have taken any and everything to make myself feel better - that would include over the counter medication only just in case you are thinking something else. I could barely take anything while I was pregnany which was miserable and now that I am breast feeding if I take anything it dries my right up and that affects Murdoch food supply. So I am trying a more natural approach. In fact I am making an effort to get more natural foods and be more environmentally aware in general. I don't think that I am ready to become a vegetarian anytime soon but I am trying to get organic fruits and vegetables, make Mur's food (at least for now when the menu is so small), and I am going to try out some diapers that are supposed to be better for the environment. I feel like as a parent I am doing this for Murdoch so it seems worth it. So every once in awhile I may post a little note about a new product that I have tried that is a little better for the environment. So far I love the Method cleaning products - I love the smell and they are supposed to be good for the environment and they are priced well and available at Target. I will give the diaper review as soon as they are delivered this week. Just don't tell Andy about this - he would probably say that the diapers suck and that they are expensive - in fact they are only a few cents more a diaper which isn't too bad.

Okay I will sign off before I write too much about this subject. Posts with fun videos going soon!

Yesterday it was a tooth, today it is a fever :(

Daycare called yesterday because Murdoch had a 101 fever which was taken under his arm so we figured it would be around 102 with the 'proper' way of taking a temp that I won't go into right now. Andy was able to pick him up. He was fine - flushed and a little out of it but not upset or cranky. Andy took his temp and it was 102, called the pediatrician and they said as long as he isn't showing any other symptoms he should be fine with a little Tylenol. So Mur got some Tylenol and a little love and then off to bed. He didn't finish his whole bottle this morning when I fed him so hopefully that isn't a symptom of something more than a fever. Andy is going to stay home today and keep an eye on him. Hopefully the fever goes away today. He is a troooper though - no major complaints from him, unless you can't get that bottle warmed up fast enough!

Nothing else new here except getting ready for our tax appointment on Saturday - oh so exciting! So we started to get everything organized last night and now we need to find everything that is missing. I think tonight will be a night of adding up our rental expenses in spreadsheets so it will probably also involve a glass of wine.

Enjoy the day. Hopefully the next post is just a cute picture or video for no reason and no talk of fevers.

Houston we have a tooth...

...and some tears, screaming, crying, and no napping unless you hold me and whisper in my ear that I am going to survive this horrible time when weird white things are breaking through my perfect pink gums! Oh and by the way I need to you be up walking or rocking me this whole time or it just isn't going to work.

That is right - after months of waiting for that tooth to poke through I noticed it yesterday. And to our surprise it wasn't on the top it was on the bottom. The top is still much harder than the bottom and there are little uneven grooves on the top that are the size of teeth but still no teeth there.

Mur had his first dose of children's Tylenol yesterday and I think that helped. Most of the time he is still very happy - just a little cranky when he needs to go down - not sure if it is the tooth or we just aren't seeing the tired signals early enough so he is then too tired to sleep.

So far we are weathering the first tooth pretty well - at least in my opinion. We spent a little bit of time rocking around midnight but besides that it was a pretty good night. Hopefully this continues with the addition of each new tooth. I have gotten used to him sleeping through the night for the most part - I really don't want to go back to waking up every 2-3 hours. I know I will have to do it from time to time but I don't want to do that full-time for weeks - it is brutal!

My favorite new toy

So as you can tell from the last couple of posts I have gotten all of the videos downloads to my laptop and then on dropshots so I can post from work. Aimee and Kevin let us borrow Brady's exersaucer and Murdoch loves it. It allows him to stand without help and he can spin around and play with the different toys. We still need to get batteries so he can have all of the bells and whistles but it has already been a month and still not batteries for the poor kid. He seems pretty happy without the extras though.

On a sidenote Andy and I went out for the first time by ourselves last night! Wayne and Courtney gave us tickets to the Celtics game and offered to babysit Mur! It was great. We went to a bar for dinner and a couple drinks. I had the most alcohol in one sitting - two whole beers! And I was probably kind of drunk - not too much drinking for me in the past 1.5 years or so. When we went into the bar I realized that I couldn't even remember the last time I had entered a bar. It was cold and rainy/snowy. I forgot that warm and humid feeling when you enter a bar in the winter - I really miss that. I told Andy that I would like to go to a bar around 2 PM on a Saturday every once in awhile just to experience that again - I don't want it to only happen every 6 months or so. So we had dinner, we were able to sit there and talk and enjoy the beer without thinking about will he wake up, what time is it, how much longer until we need to feed him, etc. It was bizzare to have no restraints time wise. The game was fun - I was fading in the 4th quarter so we left a little early - it is very hard for me to stay awake past 9:30/10 especially when I have to work the next day. But it was still fun. It wasn't like old times because I don't know that it will ever be like that but it was still nice. Enjoy the video and Happy Valentine's Day!

5 Months Take II

This is another 5 month video about 5 minutes after the first one. I think this one is a little longer but he rolls all the way over so I wanted to post it. There is a lot of movement in this one - Deucey really wanted to be involved especially when both of us were on the floor.

Murdoch is loving his tummy time. He pushes up on his hands/arms and gives you this big smile - especially in the morning. It makes it a little easier on the weekend to go in and get him when you don't want to get out of bed when he gives you a big smile and is so excited to see you. We have a 3-day weekend coming up and I am really looking forward to that. One for the extra time off so hopefully we can get a little more rest and also because I will get to see him for three days. I feel like I barely see him now that he is going to bed so early. I see him in the early AM to feed and change him and then I only see him for about 1.5 hours before he goes to bed. He is such a joy to be with so I want to have as much time as I can, I know it won't last forever, pretty soon he will be asking me to drop him off around the corner because I am embarrassing him.

5 Months!

I am catching up on some posts! Here is Murdoch's 5 month video. It took me about 6 takes to get this one. It is a little long but he is rolling over so please be patient. I have another video I will post shortly of basically the same thing. This guy is getting big! This month we started sweet potatoes and he loves them! If only his love for veggies would last forever. I am thinking that it won't so I will just enjoy this time when he gets upset if I can get the next spoonful in fast enough! Two little cubes of sweet potatoes a day and hopefully that will keep the doctor away! Enjoy the video. More to come!

Just because he is so cute!

Not much to say in this post. We have actually made a lot of house progress - we are almost finished with our temporary closets - and only 1.5 years later! That is pretty sad. I just wanted to post these because they are cute. Hopefully I can catch up on my posts over the weekend.

Rolling, rolling, rolling....

I am a little behind on the posts but I wanted to get this one up while I had a few minutes. Mur has started to roll over which is both exciting and scary! He will immediately roll over in his crib (yes he is finally out of his pack & play, we surpassed the safe weight limit for the bassinet portion so we thought it was a good idea to get him out of there because I am not reaching in there and picking up that heavy guy in the bottom day after day). So when he rolls over what are you going to do? He is supposed to sleep on his back but 95% of the time he rolls right over. I have read the books some say roll them back over - I have done that, he rolls right back over, and some say leave them - so then if he dies in his sleep what kind of guilt is that going to leave me with?! In the end I decided that he has very good head control and strength so if he rolls himself over he should be able to move his head so that he doesn't sufficate. I tried the sleep positioner but I think he is just too big and he rolls right out of it. And the other lovely thing about rolling over is that he screams once he is on his stomach because it is hard for him to flip back over. So after about two weeks of this I can happily report that he now rolls right over and only screams half of the time. I am thrilled! Now for the day I turn my back and he rolls right off the changing table - I don't think that is going to be a good day but I have this feeling that it is coming or something like it is coming very soon. This has also made us realize that after rolling over come crawling. Well our house, except for the part that we haven't redone yet, has no baseboard and has plenty of plaster, insulation, and firestopping sticking out of those holes between the floor and the wall - I am sure the safety books would not recommend this scenario when your child is starting to crawl. So we have many hours, days, weeks, ahead of us installing the baseboard, caulking it, filling in the nail holes with wood filler, sanding that down, priming it and then painting it. On the bright side I have a trim color picked out - not sure if that is really going to help me right now but it seemed like a task that I could check off my list of things to do rather easily. I think with a little baseboard in some of the rooms and some baby gates we should be just fine. I mean Mur just got out of his pack & play, moved into his own room which really isn't his own room, it is the guest room because his room is still full of construction materials, so I think the guy is really asking a lot of us to have all of the baseboard finished when he starts crawling. He really needs to become a little less demanding :) Enough of my complaining. Enjoy the video!

Daddy's little dork

Andy calls Mur a dork when he wears this outfit. I think he looks cute but then again I think he is cute all of the time! I have a lot of pictures that I finally put on my computer so here is a quick set, they are a little repetitive but I just think Mur is so cute that I am putting all of the pictures from our boring night at home.

Starting a new life together....

Two of our best friends have gotten engaged and have set their wedding dates for this coming September. Andy and I are thrilled! Matt, one of his best friends, got engaged to Ingrid in the Fall while they were in China and one of my best friends, Courtney, got engaged to Wayne a few days before Christmas. I only have pictures of Courtney and Wayne because Ingrid is out of town but I am sure once she gets back from her travels we can get some pictures. I am so excited for both couples and I am so excited for some weddings - it is like a vacation to look forward to - I know that is kind of selfish to say because it is their day but I am excited for a night out where Andy and I can be a couple again without Mur! Can't wait. CONGRATS to the happy couples!

Hanging in my Highchair

I have been a little lazy about the blog lately. Things have been busy blah blah blah. Things will always be busy so I try not to use that as an excuse. This is an old video from Christmas - Murdoch got a new highchair from Grandma Talli and Grandpa Bob. This is his first time in the highchair. He seems to really enjoy it and we have used it several times since then and he seems to like being up high and having out with the adults. Now if only he would get that excited about the rice cereal - it is improving but boy it is messy. I guess I should just except the messy - at least he isn't throwing it across the room...yet.

We need to get new disks for the camcorder - until then we won't have anything new. Hopefully Andy makes it to Best Buy today.

We are moving...

No not into another house just to our third floor - finally! I can't believe that it was last March when we returned from St. Lucia - our final non-kid just the two of us vacation - to a bedroom where the ceiling had collapsed onto our bed. We arrive home and I am frantically looking for a Bed Bath and Beyond coupon and hoping it is still open at 8 PM so that I can buy an aerobed for us to sleep on. Little did I know that we would be on that Aerobed until June, and I would like to add that this time that I was 6 months pregnany. Deucey really enjoyed this time - she spent many a night with her head between our pillows because she was not allowed on the bed. It has been one hell of a house project for us. It isn't over but the fact that we can sleep and shower on the third floor is a really big deal. Andy has worked very hard on this project - we used to do everything together but I couldn't do everything while I was pregnany and now sometimes Mur needs entertaining which means that Andy is up there quite often by himself. So I probably don't say it enough but I am so grateful that he is so handy and motivated to go up there by himself because I know how hard that is. Now we will probably have a good year or so of finish work and painting but our house is always a work in progress. Who knows, maybe we will even start a new project - our front room is very drafty - it is very tempting to just rip all of that down so that it is brand new as well. Not sure that we are quite there yet but we may be there sooner rather than later.

And on another note, Mur will be moving into his own room. I have mixed feelings about this. I know he needs to move into his own room - it will help us sleep because we won't hear all of his extra little noises and it will probably help him sleep better as well because he won't hear us, especially me in the AM getting ready for work. I also know that he needs to become an independent person as much as I want to shelter him and rock him to sleep every night I know that is just not possible for years on end. I guess Mur moving into another room is just another milestone that says my baby is growing up and it makes me sad. I love this time - he smiles all of the time, we are his whole world so we don't need to worry about if kids are being mean to him, or if he is taking drugs, or all of the other things the outside world introduces. For now I will just try to focus on this time because I know I can't get it back but it is hard not to think about how fast it is going. I guess this will always be the case with kids but sometimes it is just more apparent than other.s

The boys hanging out

I have a huge backlog of videos so now with the use of dropshots, thanks Ellen, I can upload the videos and then do the post later even if I am not sitting at my laptop at home. After sitting at a computer all day sometimes the last thing I want to do is fire up the computer at home so the blog suffers.

I think we took this on Christmas or right around Christmas. Andy loves to make Murdoch laugh and smile and Murdoch is a very willing participant. I love how much he smiles and giggles right now. I can't imagine him yelling NO! and MINE! though I know it is coming. I need to get as much of this as I can on video so when he is yelling NO! at me I can go back and look at these videos and smile and then deal with the tantrum.

Guitar Hero

I thought I could use a little lighter post after the last one. This is a clip of Andy playing Guitar Hero when my sister was visiting - just a little glimpse into our lives and what we do in the evenings since the arrival of Murdoch. I have to say that I wouldn't have thought that a video game where you play a fake guitar would provide this many hours of entertainment but it does! I guess I never wanted to be in a rock band so this game doesn't really appeal to me. Whether you want to be in a rock band or not I still think you will find this clip funny - I did!

Processing a loss

My friend Janina died last week in her sleep. I found out via email at work. I had sent her email asking her for her new address because I wanted to send her our holiday card and I also wanted to find out when she was going to be in Boston around the holidays because we were supposed to get together. I sent the email off thinking nothing of it and I received an email back with the subject Tragic News. I didn't read it right away - I assumed the tragic news was that she wasn't able to make it to Boston for the holidays or that she was already so booked seeing people that maybe we wouldn't be able to see each other. However when I opened the email and I read it I was in a state of shock. It was from her husband Brad telling me that Janina had passed away in her sleep from unknown causes and that there would be a service this weekend. I was at work at the time so I really didn't want to have much of a reaction - I prefer to leave personal issues at home and not bring them into the office unless they are really affecting my worklife. I teared up after reading the email about 5 or so times - it took a little bit of time for it to settle in but at the same time it never really did and I am confused by this. I have been reviewing this in my mind for about a week and I can't find the reason why I am almost like an emotionally void person when it comes to sorrow and sadness right now. I have been like this since Murdoch was born. I chalked it up to being tired and so many other things going on but I would think that would have passed by now. My other thought was that since Janina moved to LA we definitely haven't talked as much and we barely see each other. So maybe it is that because I don't see her except maybe once a year this doesn't exactly affect my day-to-day life. I know that sounds horrible and I hate to even say it but right now I think I am still processing the fact that she has passed away because it doesn't seem like that could have actually happened. Janina is one of the happiest, generous, and outgoing people I know so of all people death just doesn't work with how I see and feel about her.

It does make you realize how short life can be. Janina was younger than me, only married two years, and had so much in front of her. Sometimes you get caught up in a day in day out rut and it is things like this that makes you remember and realize that you really need to get out there and stuff putting things off that you wanted to do because you may not be able to do them. Even if you can just do a few smalls things. I am going to try and do that in 2008.

Thank you for listening to this post. I am feeling a bit hallow around this whole subject and I just wanted to write a little bit down about it. And I think it has helped - I am finally able to get past my eyes just tearing up. Maybe this is why we have services and funerals - it makes the situation more real and it gives you a venue to express your feelings.

Here is a link to her obituary.

Murdoch at 4 Months

Murdoch was 4 months old on Friday, December 28th. It is amazing how much he has grown and changed! I wish I could make him stop growing so that he would stay my little baby forever. He is starting to turn over, he loves standing, and his balance when sitting is getting much better. I know he will be walking and talking soon. While that will be a happy and proud moment for me it will also be sad. I just read Ellen's post for Julia's 7 month video and it is really all so true. Andy and started dating almost 10 years ago and I couldn't ask for more in a husband - there are days when I wouldn't say that like when the dishes aren't done but overall that is true :) I get annoyed with him and I want to scream at him but that never happens with Murdoch. I love him so much no matter what he is doing - he is even cute when he is crying. I remember my old life before him - when getting up at 8 AM seemed really early - now that is getting more sleep that I can ever imagine, and being up at 3 AM was because I was getting home from a bar and now it is because Murdoch needs something. My favorite thing is when I am holding him and he burrows into my chest/armpit to block out the light and go to sleep. I wish he would do that forever! Now that he is getting a little older I know that he needs to learn to fall asleep in his own bed and on his own - I just wish I could hold him until he falls asleep forever.I could go on and on and I am sure it has all been said before. I just surprised that I have all of the cliche feelings about Murdoch. I will stop my chatter now. Enjoy the video - we are trying the video via dropshots at Ellen's suggestion, our videos have been a little weird lately so hopefully this one looks a little better than the couple of videos I have posted.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Christmas Photos

We took a lot of photos over Christmas. My Dad was finally able to make it to Boston and met Murdoch for the first time and I have to say that they got along well. We had Christmas at our house this year which was a little crazy because our third floor still isn't finished. It was nice that we were able to get together and spend some time relaxing. Here are the rest of the photos, enjoy!

4 Month Checkup

Murdoch had his four month check-up last Thursday. He was 3.7 months old, 27.5 inches long, and 16 pounds 3 ounces. He has dropped a big in the weight percentile but he is still up in the 99th percentile for height! He is already growing out of 9 month outfits because they don't close that well over this diaper. Hopefully he starts to plateau a little soon otherwise he will be bigger than us in just a few years! :) Mur also braved another round of vaccinations with only about 30 seconds of crying and then he was back to normal. He was rewarded with a Snoopy bandaid on each thigh. I think this next month will be a great one. He is pretty close to rolling over - he definitely has the strength now we just need to get the motion and coordination. He is also getting a lot better balance while trying to sit up so I am sure that isn't too far off either.

Merry Christmas

I know we couldn't all be together on Christmas so here is a quick video wishing everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope you all enjoyed your holiday!